MOTIVES ARE THE KEY
Friend, I have a pretty deep question for you today…
What is your motive for wanting to live wisely, choose intentionally, and to live on purpose?
As you reflect on your dreams, goals, and commitments, you will begin to identify ambitions, fears, insecurities, and hopes that powerfully drive your actions. The more aware you are of what drives you, the better you become at dealing with obstacles to your success and making better choices for yourself.
Why do you decide to exercise after work, but then skip it?
- Why do you promise not to add one more activity or project to your pile, yet find yourself saying “yes” to another request?
- Why do you continue to stay at a company that does not honor your desire for a more balanced life?
When I first began coaching, I had to take time to sort out the most important types of questions to ask my clients. A simple reminder that has helped me involves me examining my motives for asking the questions I ask. For instance, as a client tells me a story or recaps a day or situation, questions naturally form in my mind. Here is a simple, yet powerful quality control check I use.
Ask yourself, “Why am I asking this question? Is it to fulfill my curiosity, direct the conversation a certain way, or because I genuinely believe the answer will help the client?
The same approach would be great to use in your regular conversations with others. Staying away from gossip as much as possible is smart in life. Not directing others to where you think they should go honors and respects them. Asking questions that reflect you’re authentically listening and caring for what they have to share is a wonderful way to engage others.
Have you considered what motivates you to do and say the things you do?
SIX MOTIVES THAT MAKE A NEGATIVE DIFFERENCE
- I don’t want to disappoint people
- I feel guilty spending too much time on myself
- I don’t know where to start making changes
- I lack self-discipline
- I have too much on my plate to slow down right now
- If I make changes I believe I need to make, I’m afraid I’ll be divorced, lose my job, alienate my kids, disappoint myself- pick any one.
Do any of these motives resonate with you? If so, they are getting in the way of you making those small choices that make a big difference.
I’ll be unpacking these negative motives another day, but for now I really want you to hear that your motive for living intentionally is not to hurt, but to help. Your intent is to become all you can be… to use all of your potential and share your gifts. THESE are great motives! Your responsibility to others is simply to articulate your boundaries, goals, insights, and intentions and let other people’s responses be their own. You don’t have to own their reaction nor answer to them.
So, what is your motive for wanting to live wisely, choose intentionally, and to live on purpose? I’d love to hear more about it in a comment below…