HOW TO STOP SELF-SABOTAGE FOREVER

HOW TO STOP SELF-SABOTAGE FOREVER

Self-sabotage: So, what is it?  It’s having a lack of self-belief and/or self worth, a fear of failure, feeling like the outsider, a consistent focus on perceived negative aspects of your self. It usually appears in the form of those pesky internal thoughts that creep in whenever a challenge, a plan or a deadline is presented:

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REFLECTIVE WRITING FOR POSITIVE CHANGE

REFLECTIVE WRITING FOR POSITIVE CHANGE

I can remember journaling as far back as when I was in the fourth grade. I would often have trouble sleeping at night and didn’t want to wake anyone up, so I started writing and drawing to pass the time until morning or until I fell asleep. I fell in love with music right about the same time, so a lot of what I would write would be lyrics to my favorite songs and just my thoughts about my friends and the bands that we listened to.

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BUILD YOUR RESERVES

BUILD YOUR RESERVES

Having reserves reduces stress. Reserves of what? Reserves of EVERYTHING! My stress is lowered when I know I have reserves of intangibles, like energy, and reserves of tangibles, like gasoline. Whenever the orange fuel light pops on in my dashboard, my eyes flip down to the lower right side of the dash and there it is, that little orange fuel light that says I better stop soon. If you’re like my kids, you’re thinking, “Yeah, so?” They can drive for days with their fuel light on. My tendency is to want to pull over to the first station I see to maintain my reserves. Running out of gas would not be the end of the world, but it would be a big hassle I’d like to avoid…. And it’s relatively easy to avoid: just stop and refuel.

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WHAT IS YOUR WHY?

WHAT IS YOUR WHY?

Friend, I have a pretty deep question for you today…

What is your motive for wanting to live wisely, choose intentionally, and to live on purpose?

As you reflect on your dreams, goals, and commitments, you will begin to identify ambitions, fears, insecurities, and hopes that powerfully drive your actions. The more aware you are of what drives you, the better you become at dealing with obstacles to your success and making better choices for yourself.

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MAKE GRATITUDE YOUR ATTITUDE

MAKE GRATITUDE YOUR ATTITUDE

Your attitude influences your perspective in any situation or relationship. Your perspective impacts your self-talk, which influences your beliefs. Your self-talk and beliefs are influenced by your intentional or unintentional incorporating of other people’s influences, beliefs, convictions, and insights. Strive to influence your own perspective rather than follow someone else’s. Make sure that your perspective feeds your positive attitude and creates more energy for you. Judgmental perspectives foster negative attitudes that drain your energy. 

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KNOW YOUR LIMITS TO SCALE YOUR CHOICE

KNOW YOUR LIMITS TO SCALE YOUR CHOICE

In coaching conversations I often ask, “On a scale from one to ten, how committed are you to this goal? Ten being ‘absolutely committed, it’s basically done’ to one being ‘I forgot the goal already.’” If the answer is seven or under, the client and I work together to adjust the goal so that their commitment level rises to at least an eight. It is only at that level of commitment that lasting change will take place.

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TIME WARPS WORK

TIME WARPS WORK

In life coaching, we typically stay in the present as much as possible to avoid the anxiety and fear that can be associated with staying too much in the past or future. However, when looking at the importance of being positive and the perspective of time warps work, it is necessary that we look to the future a little bit in order to have a proper perspective on our current choices.

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MAKE CHOICES THAT WON’T LEAD TO REGRET

MAKE CHOICES THAT WON’T LEAD TO REGRET

One of the ways to make a final decision to move forward or to make a choice about something is to ask the question, “Which choice will lead to the least amount of regret?”

To give you an example, on days when I have planned to exercise but I have crazy work demands in front of me, I get tempted to forge through the work and skip my workout. I stop and spend a minute or so on some reflection and I recognize that the benefits of my workout on my mind, energy, and stress level will help me get more done. Choosing 30-40 minutes of exercise gifts me with more clarity, stamina and peace of mind, even if it does take time away from my work goals. RARELY has my commitment to workout verses getting more work done resulted in regret.

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LEARNING NEVER STOPS

LEARNING NEVER STOPS

Learning never stops for the intentional, deliberate, proactive person. Having this perspective on life compels you to continue stretching yourself to grow and evolve.  Ongoing learning implies results in ongoing change. They say there are two things you can count on in life: paying taxes and dying. I’d like to add that there is one more universal truth: CHANGE HAPPENS.

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LIFE IS A JOURNEY

LIFE IS A JOURNEY

Life is a journey is a healthy perspective to develop. Each of us experiences the journey in our own unique way. Just as every runner in a race notices different scenery, connects with various people, and finishes with various times…. The journey is important.

Your journey matters because of what you notice, whom you impact, and the legacy you leave.

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